My daughter's facebook post today: I want to remember this time in our life and how God used this scripture in our lives and in our family: "You meant evil against me but God meant it for good..." (Genesis 50:20-21)
Olivia Pompa
Riding home from a fantastic thanksgiving! Another thanksgiving dinner on Sunday! I am thankful for so much. Loving parents, annoying but amazing brothers, my giving grandfather, and soo much more! ((: Happy Thanksgiving everyonee!!
I DON'T DESERVE THIS FRONT ROW SEAT IN GOD'S AMAZING LOVE...BUT I AM SO GLAD HE CHOSE ME FOR IT :))
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
My Father's Business...ONLY He Would Consider Me Worthy.
Thanksgiving Dinner 2011.
At dinner with my dad yesterday, we took the time to go around the table as we always do giving thanks. I was enriched by my kid's hearts and their expressions of gratitude. What I wasn't expecting was my own. The VERY first thing that came to my mind and consequently out of my mouth, was my gratitude for Dylan and Olivia. What I realize is that I have become who I am as a result of them in my life. The difficult and unpenetrable places of my heart that I knew were resistant to change have become open and receptive to offering myself and what has been stifled as a result of the wounds that have been in me since I was very young and rejected and abandoned by my own biological father.
The public battle that has taken so much from us has undeniably given us so much more. The matter of the truth being heard has become secondary to the greater purpose it has served within our family. Only God could accomplish such a feat. My protected and repellant state of existence can only be defined as fear. What did I fear? I have asked myself that so many times I have lost count and yet it hasn't been until God took my fear that I realized why it existed and that I wasn't the one who could control when or how it would become a healed wound.
I humorously added that I was glad that they had the personalities they had and that there were 2 of them rather than the reverse with the 3 that came from Danny and I being added to the mix ;)
The second thought that came out of my mouth was something that occurred the day before but it wasn't until I began speaking that I realized another healed area of my wounded self. Olivia and I went out for the evening the other night and the boys (especially Izik) were anxious to finish the Christmas Tree. Under any other circumstances and any other year, I decorate it.
When we came home Izik was laying on the couch looking at the completed tree with a look of satisfaction. He asked me what I thought of it...I took it in and told him it was PERFECT!
It was while I was recounting what I was thankful for that I found myself announcing that all of the stress in my life that I have had no choice but to deal with has not robbed me at all, but restored my joy and appreciation for the role of a mother called into a unique situation for an enormous purpose...to mend hearts. I realized that it wasn't possible to fully mend my children's hearts when my own still required an overhaul. God has provided the opportunity for this to occur...I will never be the same and my children will be blessed by me and through me as a result.
So thank you to the one who has created havoc. And Thank YOU more Lord God for knowing my heart and loving me enough to not leave me as I was but calling me out of myself and into your desires. While releasing my own has been done through tremendous adversity, I am now grateful for your relentless love and mercy that accompanies our challenges.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
The final piece of gratitude that emerged from my brokenness was the power of God alone to do this. I realized fully in that moment that trust maintained in the ONLY ONE who holds the power to turn defeat into victory is how the ultimate battle is won. Many "things" can be taken, but the things that matter most are our relationships and our hearts with their desires in tact with the hope that has been long-since planted, but with roots growing underneath the soil until the appropriate time for them to spring forth.
I NOW UNDERSTAND MYSELF...that my God will meet all (of my) needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. What has been replaced by what has been stolen is far greater.
At dinner with my dad yesterday, we took the time to go around the table as we always do giving thanks. I was enriched by my kid's hearts and their expressions of gratitude. What I wasn't expecting was my own. The VERY first thing that came to my mind and consequently out of my mouth, was my gratitude for Dylan and Olivia. What I realize is that I have become who I am as a result of them in my life. The difficult and unpenetrable places of my heart that I knew were resistant to change have become open and receptive to offering myself and what has been stifled as a result of the wounds that have been in me since I was very young and rejected and abandoned by my own biological father.
The public battle that has taken so much from us has undeniably given us so much more. The matter of the truth being heard has become secondary to the greater purpose it has served within our family. Only God could accomplish such a feat. My protected and repellant state of existence can only be defined as fear. What did I fear? I have asked myself that so many times I have lost count and yet it hasn't been until God took my fear that I realized why it existed and that I wasn't the one who could control when or how it would become a healed wound.
I humorously added that I was glad that they had the personalities they had and that there were 2 of them rather than the reverse with the 3 that came from Danny and I being added to the mix ;)
The second thought that came out of my mouth was something that occurred the day before but it wasn't until I began speaking that I realized another healed area of my wounded self. Olivia and I went out for the evening the other night and the boys (especially Izik) were anxious to finish the Christmas Tree. Under any other circumstances and any other year, I decorate it.
When we came home Izik was laying on the couch looking at the completed tree with a look of satisfaction. He asked me what I thought of it...I took it in and told him it was PERFECT!
It was while I was recounting what I was thankful for that I found myself announcing that all of the stress in my life that I have had no choice but to deal with has not robbed me at all, but restored my joy and appreciation for the role of a mother called into a unique situation for an enormous purpose...to mend hearts. I realized that it wasn't possible to fully mend my children's hearts when my own still required an overhaul. God has provided the opportunity for this to occur...I will never be the same and my children will be blessed by me and through me as a result.
So thank you to the one who has created havoc. And Thank YOU more Lord God for knowing my heart and loving me enough to not leave me as I was but calling me out of myself and into your desires. While releasing my own has been done through tremendous adversity, I am now grateful for your relentless love and mercy that accompanies our challenges.
I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42:16
The final piece of gratitude that emerged from my brokenness was the power of God alone to do this. I realized fully in that moment that trust maintained in the ONLY ONE who holds the power to turn defeat into victory is how the ultimate battle is won. Many "things" can be taken, but the things that matter most are our relationships and our hearts with their desires in tact with the hope that has been long-since planted, but with roots growing underneath the soil until the appropriate time for them to spring forth.
I NOW UNDERSTAND MYSELF...that my God will meet all (of my) needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. What has been replaced by what has been stolen is far greater.
In Trying Times...Is Anything Better Than This???
My daughter's facebook post today: I want to remember this time in our life and how God used this scripture in our lives and in our family: "You meant evil against me but God meant it for good..." (Genesis 50:20-21)
Olivia Pompa
Riding home from a fantastic thanksgiving! Another thanksgiving dinner on Sunday! I am thankful for so much. Loving parents, annoying but amazing brothers, my giving grandfather, and soo much more! ((: Happy Thanksgiving everyonee!!
I DON'T DESERVE THIS FRONT ROW SEAT IN GOD'S AMAZING LOVE...BUT I AM SO GLAD HE CHOSE ME FOR IT :))
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Olivia Pompa
Riding home from a fantastic thanksgiving! Another thanksgiving dinner on Sunday! I am thankful for so much. Loving parents, annoying but amazing brothers, my giving grandfather, and soo much more! ((: Happy Thanksgiving everyonee!!
I DON'T DESERVE THIS FRONT ROW SEAT IN GOD'S AMAZING LOVE...BUT I AM SO GLAD HE CHOSE ME FOR IT :))
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
PAIN PRECEDES PURPOSE
I feel an inner oppositional force at work. I feel the desire to share my heart, but I also feel the desire to remain quiet. What is within me has been expressed many times for you to find your own encouragement for hope when life seems out of balance or a desperate need for restoration is a craving needing satisfied within your soul. I am learning through seasons of turmoil that the only place to find that peace is within. It is not found by expressing discontent or injustice nor is it found by indignant posturing. Our hope is only found in the power that God alone possesses. He alone knows what is best. Injustices occur. Our skewed perspectives of what is right and wrong occur. Our trust in others expecting our protection to be first and foremost in their dealings with us can also occur. We learn through disappointments and oftentimes devastation that life-lessons are often necessary for our future dealings in the lives that we are called to live out. If we interpret each defect and detour along the way as a life-lesson and learn from it then we begin to view our progress and impotentence simultaneously. We realize humans are exactly that...we rise and fall at the same time.
The dichotomy between our thoughts and our actions is at the very core of why we need a savior. We need someone to guide us that is beyond human and finite in thinking and direction. While faith used as a crutch is often an excuse for those who do not understand it and always accompanies a refusal to release control, for those of us that grow (often by force) through life's challenges, we begin to understand at an even more concentrated level that pain must precede purpose.
Being able to find peace within the process is perhaps the greatest of all the demands we must meet. I have learned in my own challenges that surrender is what I do last, but it is precisely where the provisions and protection occurs for my preservation and advancement. I am not sure I ever could have released my efforts to stand and fight for my story or the truth if it weren't for what God had to allow me to pass through for the objective of my purpose being met. I have found that when we feel outnumbered, both on the side of the enemy as well as even our allies, and we have no ability left to find hope in what is right, we surrender. We allow God to take over. We plead with Him for favor, for mercy, for opening the closed minds of those that stand in our way or hold us back from being restored. And we also realize that if He doesn't orchestrate on our schedule (which is already proven by the endless journey and wanderings we are involved in), then it must be for our good and His goals for our life.
This may be the place that breaking down and feeling helpless also is necessary. Without remembering that feeling, there is no surrender. We don't want to give up our fight. We feel the most vulnerable when we do UNLESS our vulnerability has already been proven to us by the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Remember this quote: "Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties." ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon It is true of some of the most memorable of Biblical contributors to our hope and understanding of God's greatness that they too underwent tremendous difficulties for a much greater and often unforeseen purpose. History is waiting to be made. Do you desire a role in the greatest story ever written? The story is still being written and giving Him the pen is the most assured way of having your designated assignment come to life within its pages.
The dichotomy between our thoughts and our actions is at the very core of why we need a savior. We need someone to guide us that is beyond human and finite in thinking and direction. While faith used as a crutch is often an excuse for those who do not understand it and always accompanies a refusal to release control, for those of us that grow (often by force) through life's challenges, we begin to understand at an even more concentrated level that pain must precede purpose.
Being able to find peace within the process is perhaps the greatest of all the demands we must meet. I have learned in my own challenges that surrender is what I do last, but it is precisely where the provisions and protection occurs for my preservation and advancement. I am not sure I ever could have released my efforts to stand and fight for my story or the truth if it weren't for what God had to allow me to pass through for the objective of my purpose being met. I have found that when we feel outnumbered, both on the side of the enemy as well as even our allies, and we have no ability left to find hope in what is right, we surrender. We allow God to take over. We plead with Him for favor, for mercy, for opening the closed minds of those that stand in our way or hold us back from being restored. And we also realize that if He doesn't orchestrate on our schedule (which is already proven by the endless journey and wanderings we are involved in), then it must be for our good and His goals for our life.
This may be the place that breaking down and feeling helpless also is necessary. Without remembering that feeling, there is no surrender. We don't want to give up our fight. We feel the most vulnerable when we do UNLESS our vulnerability has already been proven to us by the circumstances in which we find ourselves.
Remember this quote: "Many men owe the grandeur of their lives to their tremendous difficulties." ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon It is true of some of the most memorable of Biblical contributors to our hope and understanding of God's greatness that they too underwent tremendous difficulties for a much greater and often unforeseen purpose. History is waiting to be made. Do you desire a role in the greatest story ever written? The story is still being written and giving Him the pen is the most assured way of having your designated assignment come to life within its pages.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
THE LAUNCH
When I sit down to write, I often have NO idea what it is that I have to say. I realize that writing is a tool for me to understand my life with more clarity and my vision is what becomes more vivid as I communicate my emotions to myself and those who read what I leave upon the once blank space. I also understand that often people are filled with unanswered questions about their challenges and finding a space in their head to process is often difficult to do. We wrestle the inner man to preserve the outer man. At a certain inevitable juncture, we must face our reality with the proper persective. That perspective is never one that runs and hides, but one that embraces whatever it is that we are called to overcome and face it head on with an understanding that we will become better, not bitter as a result of it.
What I continue to learn through my own challenges is that with faith in God's direction for our lives and His perfect plan, we fulfill our destiny. This occurs in the most unlikely of ways typically, but we learn too that it is something that is truly best suited to every aspect of God's desire for our life. I read this quote and thought "how appropriate as it relates to my life": “ God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not a choice. You must take it. The only choice is how”. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Could there be a more true statement of our grapplings with what "happens" to us? The embrace of each challenge with the proper perspective that leads to growth enriches us while the one that asks why me will lead us to defeat. As we journey through our season of enrichment we realize too that "God seldom delivers....virtues all wrapped in a package and ready for use. Rather He puts us in situations where by His help we can develop those virtues." ~C.R. Findley
I have been 12 years in challenges that have defied who and how I expected my life to look. The situations I have found myself in have taken me by surprise (to say the least) and tested every virute and value I have lived by. They have called me to deeper faith, deeper trust, deeper hope and deeper commitment to my ultimate goal of service to a God that loves me, knows what is best for me and cultivates not only my circumstances, but also my heart in the process of where He is leading me.
While some of what He is up to is becoming manifest without doubt, some of it lies in "utter" (outer) space waiting within the deepest but most readily recesses of my heart and waiting with a child-like excitement and anticipation to be released into my world.
As I wait with this fervor, I am feeling led to "release" some of what I have learned in very practial and applicable ways. A few well-respected friends have encouraged me to write more and one relationship in particular has taken an interest in leading me to have that materialize. She has connected me with resources, including her own, to expedite the release of my new blog with the title: Fit, Focused and 40. This will include physical, emotional and spiritual fundamentals that I am trusting God to lead the way with. I have always believed that when God calls us through something that stretches us He also calls us to use what has created pain for a purpose. I am excited to reveal my passions of living, raising a family, seeking to improve weaknesses within the areas of health of the physical, emotional and mental carcass that carries our soul throughout our life on this planet. I thank you for your contribution of questions and feedback in the very near future while sending any questions or thoughts that you would like me to address. While I certainly do not claim to be a final authority and at times even reluctant to share what I believe or have learned for myself, my husband reminds me of the fact that when you have victory over attacks (regardless of the area) it gives you an element of authority that (while it may not be the ONLY way) it certainly is proven through the methods of warfare that led to triumph. I need an army of warriors who desire to fight for victory. The battle is fierce for us all and yet God desires that we win it for Him!
What I continue to learn through my own challenges is that with faith in God's direction for our lives and His perfect plan, we fulfill our destiny. This occurs in the most unlikely of ways typically, but we learn too that it is something that is truly best suited to every aspect of God's desire for our life. I read this quote and thought "how appropriate as it relates to my life": “ God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not a choice. You must take it. The only choice is how”. ~Henry Ward Beecher
Could there be a more true statement of our grapplings with what "happens" to us? The embrace of each challenge with the proper perspective that leads to growth enriches us while the one that asks why me will lead us to defeat. As we journey through our season of enrichment we realize too that "God seldom delivers....virtues all wrapped in a package and ready for use. Rather He puts us in situations where by His help we can develop those virtues." ~C.R. Findley
I have been 12 years in challenges that have defied who and how I expected my life to look. The situations I have found myself in have taken me by surprise (to say the least) and tested every virute and value I have lived by. They have called me to deeper faith, deeper trust, deeper hope and deeper commitment to my ultimate goal of service to a God that loves me, knows what is best for me and cultivates not only my circumstances, but also my heart in the process of where He is leading me.
While some of what He is up to is becoming manifest without doubt, some of it lies in "utter" (outer) space waiting within the deepest but most readily recesses of my heart and waiting with a child-like excitement and anticipation to be released into my world.
As I wait with this fervor, I am feeling led to "release" some of what I have learned in very practial and applicable ways. A few well-respected friends have encouraged me to write more and one relationship in particular has taken an interest in leading me to have that materialize. She has connected me with resources, including her own, to expedite the release of my new blog with the title: Fit, Focused and 40. This will include physical, emotional and spiritual fundamentals that I am trusting God to lead the way with. I have always believed that when God calls us through something that stretches us He also calls us to use what has created pain for a purpose. I am excited to reveal my passions of living, raising a family, seeking to improve weaknesses within the areas of health of the physical, emotional and mental carcass that carries our soul throughout our life on this planet. I thank you for your contribution of questions and feedback in the very near future while sending any questions or thoughts that you would like me to address. While I certainly do not claim to be a final authority and at times even reluctant to share what I believe or have learned for myself, my husband reminds me of the fact that when you have victory over attacks (regardless of the area) it gives you an element of authority that (while it may not be the ONLY way) it certainly is proven through the methods of warfare that led to triumph. I need an army of warriors who desire to fight for victory. The battle is fierce for us all and yet God desires that we win it for Him!
Friday, August 5, 2011
It Is Well With My Soul...And Theirs Too
Summer has been busy. Many travels. Many days of busy-ness. Nothing ever seems to get completed. The house is never quiet...except when we are asleep. Working from home has its benefits, but I expect that they will be more evident when our kids are back in school ;-)
I think about time. Time is elusive. I cannot seem to capture it, or have enough of it. I remember the feeling of being stuffed into a challenging role that I refused to refuse and accepted without exception. When my understanding of life took a very different turn from my expectations I had one perspective that held me fast: HOPE. Romans 5:3-5 says: "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
I remember assuming the role of the one who would offer hope to my husband who was suffering. I remember offering hope to Daniel, even though he was only 3 when his Dad got sick. I remember offering hope to Dylan and Olivia that God loved them with an IMMEASURABLE love and would restore their joy and put a smile on their heart that would be evident and contagious.
I am thinking about this this evening because I am reflecting on the adolescents they have become. They are kind and thoughtful. They are helpful and satisfied. They have joy. They have opportunity. They have dreams. They have a family that loves them and values what they have added to our lives.
Without them I would not be who I am. I would not have grown into understanding how adversity enables your dreams to be bigger and your hopes to be higher and your expectations to be exceeded...even in the darkest of days.
This month, Dylan and Olivia had an opportunity to visit Jamaica on a mission's trip. In fact, I just paused in my writing because I remembered that she had something for me to share with all of my facebook friends and I have been spinning since I got home from Utah 2 days ago trying to catch up. When I read her letter...it is the SAME THEME as this post!! I am overwhelmed by God's promptings of His children who desire to follow Him for GREAT-ER things!!!
I will attach her letter to this post so that it is always connected to this writing. Her heart is so connected to His. I remember our vacation that we took them on just 6 weeks after they came to live with us. We went to St. Martin each year for 2 weeks and 2004 was no different. It was just that we took 2 more kids with us. Traumatized kids. I remember giving Olivia an iPod with Christian music on it. She used it often. While we were there, she was outside one day and the way our condo was built, there was a set of steps that from the ground floor appeared to just stop in the middle of the air with only the sky beyond them. The clouds were puffs of cotton against the Carribbean blue sky and there was Olivia with her hands stretched wide and high as she talked to God about her parents. She praised Him by doing this. She praised Him as she sang. She sought Him. He was there. At that moment I knew that she had a gift of faith that would enable her to thrive in life amidst such difficult circumstances. I realized at that moment too how blessed I was to watch her grow as He satsified her soul through her trust in Him and Him alone.
And now today, more than 7 years later, I see God in every aspect of her life. She chooses her friends wisely. She does not engage in petty nonsense as is easily part of a teenage girl's life. She is a great friend. She is honorable. She is loyal.
And now today, she is beginning her second week in Florida with a family that has remained steadfast in their support of both of them through the years. They were the next door neighbors of theirs at the time of the tragic event. Today, they are the best of friends and strongest of supporters but they no longer live next door. They are the kind of friends that feel the sense of obligation and responsibility but above all else a call to love these kids and keep them connected to their past life. It blesses me to see how God works, how He heals us, how He lifts us up when we are down.
As Dylan left to meet Olivia in Florida today, I saw the incredibly independent and cautiously confident young man he is becoming. I saw his excitement and yet his gentle approach toward his experiences when they are not as predictable as the day-to-day routine. That is another comfort to me...to watch him step out when change is not something he looks forward to. He has learned that in ALL things he possesses the ability, through the grace of God, to grow...and heal through every new adventure. His journey has created a quiet confidence and a solid peacefulness that is comforting not only to him, but those who are close to him.
For me, this day, I had recurring thoughts of my own journey. I thought of the challenges of our lives. I thought of the unfairness. I thought of the meanness that has reared its ugly head and spews venom whenever possible. Forces with presence always exist, but power does not have to be given to them. Then I realized what it is that God keeps revealing to me and that is the beauty that has been birthed out of the ashes. And that brings this verse in Isaiah to mind: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified." Isaiah 61:3.
No other words are necessary.
Olivia's letter:
Dear Friends and Family,
As many of you already know, last week, Dylan and I went on a mission trip with Mission Discovery to Montego Bay, Jamaica. It was a great experience and I was blessed to be able to go. While we were there, we worked 7-hour days, building and repairing a deaf school, played with kids at Vacation Bible School, and also we got to spend a day at an orphanage. Meeting Jamaican children at the deaf school and the orphanage was one of the coolest things that ever happened to me. I wish I could have done more to help them.
Before the trip, Dylan and I had sent out letters asking for support for the trip. We did not get as much financial support as we had hoped, and we are hoping to be given the opportunity to be asked to go next year. I just wanted to thank those of you who did send in donations, but if you would like, we would greatly appreciate your donations for Dylan and I.
Dylan and I have been through something that most people I know have never experienced and most likely will never, but God has made it all good. My family and I have been through even more challenges in the past few years. This trip has impacted me. The orphanage showed me how lucky I am to be blessed with parents that God chose to love me, but these kids may never know what it feels like to be loved, only to not have the hope of love. Going there and spending time with those kids let them know that we are there to provide a hope and a future, and I would love to offer them the hope like I have again next year. Again, I wanted to truly thank those of you who did decide to support. Those of you who did not, this is your opportunity to bless others! Donations, even now as they will be applied to the trip we just took as well as the one we plan to take next summer. It is very expensive to be doing God’s work so far away!
God Bless!
Olivia Pompa
I think about time. Time is elusive. I cannot seem to capture it, or have enough of it. I remember the feeling of being stuffed into a challenging role that I refused to refuse and accepted without exception. When my understanding of life took a very different turn from my expectations I had one perspective that held me fast: HOPE. Romans 5:3-5 says: "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."
I remember assuming the role of the one who would offer hope to my husband who was suffering. I remember offering hope to Daniel, even though he was only 3 when his Dad got sick. I remember offering hope to Dylan and Olivia that God loved them with an IMMEASURABLE love and would restore their joy and put a smile on their heart that would be evident and contagious.
I am thinking about this this evening because I am reflecting on the adolescents they have become. They are kind and thoughtful. They are helpful and satisfied. They have joy. They have opportunity. They have dreams. They have a family that loves them and values what they have added to our lives.
Without them I would not be who I am. I would not have grown into understanding how adversity enables your dreams to be bigger and your hopes to be higher and your expectations to be exceeded...even in the darkest of days.
This month, Dylan and Olivia had an opportunity to visit Jamaica on a mission's trip. In fact, I just paused in my writing because I remembered that she had something for me to share with all of my facebook friends and I have been spinning since I got home from Utah 2 days ago trying to catch up. When I read her letter...it is the SAME THEME as this post!! I am overwhelmed by God's promptings of His children who desire to follow Him for GREAT-ER things!!!
I will attach her letter to this post so that it is always connected to this writing. Her heart is so connected to His. I remember our vacation that we took them on just 6 weeks after they came to live with us. We went to St. Martin each year for 2 weeks and 2004 was no different. It was just that we took 2 more kids with us. Traumatized kids. I remember giving Olivia an iPod with Christian music on it. She used it often. While we were there, she was outside one day and the way our condo was built, there was a set of steps that from the ground floor appeared to just stop in the middle of the air with only the sky beyond them. The clouds were puffs of cotton against the Carribbean blue sky and there was Olivia with her hands stretched wide and high as she talked to God about her parents. She praised Him by doing this. She praised Him as she sang. She sought Him. He was there. At that moment I knew that she had a gift of faith that would enable her to thrive in life amidst such difficult circumstances. I realized at that moment too how blessed I was to watch her grow as He satsified her soul through her trust in Him and Him alone.
And now today, more than 7 years later, I see God in every aspect of her life. She chooses her friends wisely. She does not engage in petty nonsense as is easily part of a teenage girl's life. She is a great friend. She is honorable. She is loyal.
And now today, she is beginning her second week in Florida with a family that has remained steadfast in their support of both of them through the years. They were the next door neighbors of theirs at the time of the tragic event. Today, they are the best of friends and strongest of supporters but they no longer live next door. They are the kind of friends that feel the sense of obligation and responsibility but above all else a call to love these kids and keep them connected to their past life. It blesses me to see how God works, how He heals us, how He lifts us up when we are down.
As Dylan left to meet Olivia in Florida today, I saw the incredibly independent and cautiously confident young man he is becoming. I saw his excitement and yet his gentle approach toward his experiences when they are not as predictable as the day-to-day routine. That is another comfort to me...to watch him step out when change is not something he looks forward to. He has learned that in ALL things he possesses the ability, through the grace of God, to grow...and heal through every new adventure. His journey has created a quiet confidence and a solid peacefulness that is comforting not only to him, but those who are close to him.
For me, this day, I had recurring thoughts of my own journey. I thought of the challenges of our lives. I thought of the unfairness. I thought of the meanness that has reared its ugly head and spews venom whenever possible. Forces with presence always exist, but power does not have to be given to them. Then I realized what it is that God keeps revealing to me and that is the beauty that has been birthed out of the ashes. And that brings this verse in Isaiah to mind: "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he might be glorified." Isaiah 61:3.
No other words are necessary.
Olivia's letter:
Dear Friends and Family,
As many of you already know, last week, Dylan and I went on a mission trip with Mission Discovery to Montego Bay, Jamaica. It was a great experience and I was blessed to be able to go. While we were there, we worked 7-hour days, building and repairing a deaf school, played with kids at Vacation Bible School, and also we got to spend a day at an orphanage. Meeting Jamaican children at the deaf school and the orphanage was one of the coolest things that ever happened to me. I wish I could have done more to help them.
Before the trip, Dylan and I had sent out letters asking for support for the trip. We did not get as much financial support as we had hoped, and we are hoping to be given the opportunity to be asked to go next year. I just wanted to thank those of you who did send in donations, but if you would like, we would greatly appreciate your donations for Dylan and I.
Dylan and I have been through something that most people I know have never experienced and most likely will never, but God has made it all good. My family and I have been through even more challenges in the past few years. This trip has impacted me. The orphanage showed me how lucky I am to be blessed with parents that God chose to love me, but these kids may never know what it feels like to be loved, only to not have the hope of love. Going there and spending time with those kids let them know that we are there to provide a hope and a future, and I would love to offer them the hope like I have again next year. Again, I wanted to truly thank those of you who did decide to support. Those of you who did not, this is your opportunity to bless others! Donations, even now as they will be applied to the trip we just took as well as the one we plan to take next summer. It is very expensive to be doing God’s work so far away!
God Bless!
Olivia Pompa
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
WAIT AND SEE
There are times in life when friendships disappear and there are times in life when friendships reappear. There are also those times when out of nowhere a friendship appears that we were not expecting. If you are like me, you may not trust the ones who disappear, may be skeptical of the ones which reappear and overwhelmingly blessed by the ones that just seem to drop out of the dark and into the light or into the light and make it even brighter. I cannot begin to tell you from the recesses of my heart how disappointed I have been in people that I have expected would always be part of my life. I have learned that it is not that they are intentionally resisting my presence in their life as much as they are resisting what they may not understand or simply involved in their own lives and cannot or will not make time for things that take unnecessary effort. Whichever the scenario, I have grown less disappointed in those absences and more expectant of those who God will bring into my life. Let's face it, as we mature in this journey of life, we learn that life is a game of keeping up with life. The more we are called to manage, the more unmanageable we can feel our life is.
I have felt this way for years. I may have kept managing my friendships as a way of preserving my"self". The challenges that I faced and the way life pressed in caused me to desire to cling to anything familiar. Although maybe I am more inclined to stay in touch with those I care about because my life as a child was very lonely and who I wanted to be with most was elusive (my mom) and I learned through painful experience that I NEVER want to walk that road again.
As in love with my husband as I have always been and expectant of our life together, it was riddled with complications that forced loss accompanied by complicated gain. There is a verse that God has given my husband and I over and over and it is this: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you." Joel 2:25.
I have written before about how I look at every challenging and painful experience as something that comes from the hand of God. Because I know this to be true...it is His way of setting us on His course, redirecting our path, often our hearts as well and calling us to a position of passion and purpose that we soemtimes can only dream of. Our comfort zones are not places of excitement, but security. How can we be moved when we are satisfied? How can we be used by Him when our purpose is to serve and maintain ourselves?
The friendships that I sought to preserve were comfortable for me as well. They resembled what I knew of myself. Letting go of who I was for who God wanted me to become was a process that took years to connect with and let go of, simultaneously. Through this process, one of the most disappointing realities was in who didn't remain. But just as in all the other areas of my life, I knew that God would make up for it. Suddenly it is happening. People are coming into our life that feel led to be involved and lead us into our next destinations of our journey through life as God is directing. My awareness of this is heightened as I believe He wants me to realize that HE is doing it. He is making up for what He has allowed that which has caused our family pain. This has become a source of excitement for me as God never does anything in a mediocre way. The friendships that are accompanying this process have satisfied me in a way I always desired, but failed to experience. Again I think of the verse above.
I write out of my pain. I think about many things I have experienced. I think constantly. But if life weren't hurling chaos I wouldn't have a reason to think. I even think I overthink :-) I also write as a result of my purpose: to encourage those who are walking through their own wilderness and wonder where God is. HE IS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND HE IS MORE THAN ABLE TO SATISFY YOUR SOUL AS WELL AS GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART! He does this when you surrender to the process and let go of what it is that you expected, and reach in to the reality that He "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20.
Don't restrict Him. Let Him have His way. He will always BE exceedingly more and DO exceedingly more than we could possibly conceive in our finite minds and it pleases Him to know we are waiting for Him and Him alone.
I have felt this way for years. I may have kept managing my friendships as a way of preserving my"self". The challenges that I faced and the way life pressed in caused me to desire to cling to anything familiar. Although maybe I am more inclined to stay in touch with those I care about because my life as a child was very lonely and who I wanted to be with most was elusive (my mom) and I learned through painful experience that I NEVER want to walk that road again.
As in love with my husband as I have always been and expectant of our life together, it was riddled with complications that forced loss accompanied by complicated gain. There is a verse that God has given my husband and I over and over and it is this: "I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten--the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm--my great army that I sent among you." Joel 2:25.
I have written before about how I look at every challenging and painful experience as something that comes from the hand of God. Because I know this to be true...it is His way of setting us on His course, redirecting our path, often our hearts as well and calling us to a position of passion and purpose that we soemtimes can only dream of. Our comfort zones are not places of excitement, but security. How can we be moved when we are satisfied? How can we be used by Him when our purpose is to serve and maintain ourselves?
The friendships that I sought to preserve were comfortable for me as well. They resembled what I knew of myself. Letting go of who I was for who God wanted me to become was a process that took years to connect with and let go of, simultaneously. Through this process, one of the most disappointing realities was in who didn't remain. But just as in all the other areas of my life, I knew that God would make up for it. Suddenly it is happening. People are coming into our life that feel led to be involved and lead us into our next destinations of our journey through life as God is directing. My awareness of this is heightened as I believe He wants me to realize that HE is doing it. He is making up for what He has allowed that which has caused our family pain. This has become a source of excitement for me as God never does anything in a mediocre way. The friendships that are accompanying this process have satisfied me in a way I always desired, but failed to experience. Again I think of the verse above.
I write out of my pain. I think about many things I have experienced. I think constantly. But if life weren't hurling chaos I wouldn't have a reason to think. I even think I overthink :-) I also write as a result of my purpose: to encourage those who are walking through their own wilderness and wonder where God is. HE IS RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND HE IS MORE THAN ABLE TO SATISFY YOUR SOUL AS WELL AS GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART! He does this when you surrender to the process and let go of what it is that you expected, and reach in to the reality that He "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20.
Don't restrict Him. Let Him have His way. He will always BE exceedingly more and DO exceedingly more than we could possibly conceive in our finite minds and it pleases Him to know we are waiting for Him and Him alone.
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