Saturday, December 31, 2011


We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.
~Kenji Miyazawa

I have this burning desire within me to encourage others through difficulites. There are a "chosen" few in my life that I can't seem to shake the role of SUPREME began with my husband through his sickness and has passed through each of my kids and especially my twins who lost their parents when they were just 7 years old; and even today is flowing through their friends who are painfully enduring their own losses and painful grapplings with God as a result.

2011 represented a "refueling" for me. I have been steadfast and building upon my faith; expectantly waiting for God...I periodically experience sensations that feel as if I have "little butterflies in my soul" is the only way I know to explain it. While it may be easy to ignore, it only happens when I am overtaken by an immediate concern or just happen to ponder the question of "when" will God begin to show me manifestations of what I have been clinging to all along and that is my purpose for His service beyond just the 4 walls of my home. In these exact spaces in time my mind leaps forward and the blip of a "what if" moment creeps in and connects my heart to God's purpose for my life all at the same time. What initally begins as a concern transforms into an excitement of fulfillment of my desires. I believe this quote to be true: "Throw your heart over the fence and the rest will follow." ~Norman Vincent Peale

I know that God has me. I'm one of billions that He can handle ;) Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." When I keep that in focus, fear is released and the pain is able to be embraced and I truly do use it for the fuel that moves me toward my destiny.

He wants that kind of trust from each of us who call upon His name. He prefers ALL mankind would call upon Him, but He does not push...however He often does pull and we have a choice as to how we respond...with His power or with our own. His power brings us peace and contentment and satisfaction while our own is often accompanied by an internalization of the pain that can deeply wound us rather than liberate us.

As 2011 has been birth pains to 2012, realize that resolutions are worthless as they depend upon each of our own efforts while revolutions depend upon our rallying alongside what is already this case what He is already doing. His power has ZERO LIMITATIONS and His ability to create something out of nothing does not occur without pressure. There can be no diamonds without it. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of a man is to live, not to exist. ~Jack London

Embrace your pain, shed your fears, trust your God and pray for mercy as He orchestrates your challenges and allows them to be used as fuel for your mission. If you are ready to truly live according to the power of God within your dreams then realize that "Life has no limitations, except the ones you make." ~Les Brown

Welcome 2012! I have been waiting for you and walking toward you all my life!

As you wait on God to vindicate, remember this: Truth and Time will kiss each other.

“Thus says the LORD, Who makes a way through the sea and a path through the mighty waters, “Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:16, 18-19

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

God ALWAYS Exceeds Our Expectations

Olivia Pompa
I have been living with my new family for almost 8 years and I love them as if I was born here. I am extremely thankful for my new parents, Merily and Daniel ♥ All things work to the greater good (No matter what it is) <33 They are giving more than I could ever ask for and I want to thank them for that too (: I LOOVE YOU GUUYS♥ ALSO, Yesterdaay was my real mommmyss birthday, I wanted to wish her a Happy Birthhdaay! <33 Happy Birthday Moommmyy (: Miss you! <3333

What a post from Olivia's Facebook..How INCREDIBLY solid this incredible God-given child of mine is in her "interpretation" of Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to
His purpose.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

Our prayer has always been for our family to be unified. Through the most challenging of times...even more so than the commitment to them through their initial loss and our initial gain has been our recent challenges. God truly has exceeded our expectations! We praise Him!!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

From Bondage To Freedom

Freedom comes to us in many forms. Often it comes into our lives through bondage. Because we are experienced-based creatures, we have to learn about life through experience. There are some experiences that have nothing to do with choices but yet we evolve into ourselves based on decisions others have made for us. For example, as a child we do not choose our parents or the dynamic within their relationship and consequently choices are made on our behalf that we have no control over. We must however, take those (preconceived) notions/ideas into our next seasons of life and often what drives us is what we learned and often lacked, or possibly even had in surplus to satisfy our desires. Through daily living we find that often what we thought was part of the fiber of our existence isn't where our ultimate satisfaction comes. For me personally, I had to be placed into situations even as an adult that I did not have choices in to realize how true that really is. While choices are always made within scenarios, overarching realities have a far greater determination in who we find ourselves to be. It is far easier to do the right thing when faced with challenge than it is to embrace the changes within that challenge. While our initial response is self-preservation, if we are really honest with ourselves (either through admission or coercion), we must enter the threshold within it that allows us to step across it to a new level of living. What we inevitably find when we enter that higher dimension is soul satisfaction. While it may not look like we have previously known, who we are is who we have desired to be all along but lacked the tools to acquire.
When we belong to God, He often orchestrates events to enable us to find who we have been looking for as well as knew we were destined to become all along but too wounded to attain. Superfluousness sheds itself from necessity, and as self-preservation is replaced by surrender and trust, we take our eyes off our ourselves and put them on to those that we are entrusted with as well as to our God who ultimately holds ALL of the power anyway. We find within the pages of our further unfolding story hope, completion in the creation of ourselves and advancement of of our mind to attain our vision...and even passions deepen within our calling and it is renewed eventhough it may seem to have been detained. We learn that without the reduction in ourselves, we could not possibly reach the heights that God has chosen for His purposes, not our own. There is no other way to remove self than to have it removed for least for those of us who are natural at cultivating resources due to personalities that have determination and perseverance at the helm.
I had to be very honest with myself many times over in this life already to accept that each challenge that I have been called to walk through is perfect for me. Each test of my faith, each test of my character, each test of my self within myself has been hand-picked by God to advance His purpose for my life. I have also had to remind myself in moments where I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself (which could be easy to do with 5 children who have pre-existing wounds and tainted belief systems) that my own journey is not just for me but for all of us. Who they are learning to rely on beyond a Sunday School role of Christianity is beyond what any of us would sign up for, but once living our lives at that level of faith, we are never going to be satisfied with knowing about God...we want to KNOW Him and be known by Him...where we can call upon Him and know He is always speaking even if He is not always answering every prayer to our satisfaction or in our timing. We find in our solitude that a Biblical faith is one that applies the scriptures and follows the patriarchs of the Bible as they did and watch and wait for Him to show up on our behalf. What greater lesson about living a life that God blesses could our children extract from any other experience other than our own?
Be encouraged that God lives with His people as "a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart from before the people." Exodus 13:21-22 While we do not see that manifestation in the same way physically, He is still illuminating and directing even our darkest times for His light to become an everlasting flame and the light that must never be extinguished must originate in our own hearts so that we never lose our direction or desire for Him.
When I remind myself that life is a journey as well as a tapestry to be taken and woven all at the same time, I feel honored to be chosen for such a role that has taken me through so many twists and turns and uncertainties. I realize that apart from God's calling and His favor to achieve it, I would waste this life seeking but never being fully satisfied. I can now find riddled within the pages of my life's story the hand of God upon my heart that loves me too much to let my life move randomly. While pain is an inevitable part of growth, life lessons learned births desires beyond reason and hope beyond expectation. I do not believe that God merely calls us to have a legacy that is solely parenting our children and therefore we must live out our calling with our children watching and waiting right with us in order for them to develop the kind of faith that too "if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deuteronomy 4:29 In verse 28, the one directly before, God tell us: " There you will worship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell." This is the place where we are in captivity and He desires to release us. While letting go is often not a choice we would make, there is a freedom in having it removed. Rebuilding SOLELY on the foundation that leads us to victorious living is the only place that our soul satisfaction is found. What God adds to that is up to Him, but being driven by our purpose (His purpose) is far more exciting than being driven by our desires.
Who gets what is a common theme in a large family. With God, who gets what is determined by His resources, not our own and I don't know about you, but I would far rather be waiting on Him rather than trusting in myself.