From Bondage To Freedom

Freedom comes to us in many forms. Often it comes into our lives through bondage. Because we are experienced-based creatures, we have to learn about life through experience. There are some experiences that have nothing to do with choices but yet we evolve into ourselves based on decisions others have made for us. For example, as a child we do not choose our parents or the dynamic within their relationship and consequently choices are made on our behalf that we have no control over. We must however, take those (preconceived) notions/ideas into our next seasons of life and often what drives us is what we learned and often lacked, or possibly even had in surplus to satisfy our desires. Through daily living we find that often what we thought was part of the fiber of our existence isn't where our ultimate satisfaction comes. For me personally, I had to be placed into situations even as an adult that I did not have choices in to realize how true that really is. While choices are always made within scenarios, overarching realities have a far greater determination in who we find ourselves to be. It is far easier to do the right thing when faced with challenge than it is to embrace the changes within that challenge. While our initial response is self-preservation, if we are really honest with ourselves (either through admission or coercion), we must enter the threshold within it that allows us to step across it to a new level of living. What we inevitably find when we enter that higher dimension is soul satisfaction. While it may not look like we have previously known, who we are is who we have desired to be all along but lacked the tools to acquire.
When we belong to God, He often orchestrates events to enable us to find who we have been looking for as well as knew we were destined to become all along but too wounded to attain. Superfluousness sheds itself from necessity, and as self-preservation is replaced by surrender and trust, we take our eyes off our ourselves and put them on to those that we are entrusted with as well as to our God who ultimately holds ALL of the power anyway. We find within the pages of our further unfolding story hope, completion in the creation of ourselves and advancement of of our mind to attain our vision...and even passions deepen within our calling and it is renewed eventhough it may seem to have been detained. We learn that without the reduction in ourselves, we could not possibly reach the heights that God has chosen for His purposes, not our own. There is no other way to remove self than to have it removed for us...at least for those of us who are natural at cultivating resources due to personalities that have determination and perseverance at the helm.
I had to be very honest with myself many times over in this life already to accept that each challenge that I have been called to walk through is perfect for me. Each test of my faith, each test of my character, each test of my self within myself has been hand-picked by God to advance His purpose for my life. I have also had to remind myself in moments where I have been tempted to feel sorry for myself (which could be easy to do with 5 children who have pre-existing wounds and tainted belief systems) that my own journey is not just for me but for all of us. Who they are learning to rely on beyond a Sunday School role of Christianity is beyond what any of us would sign up for, but once living our lives at that level of faith, we are never going to be satisfied with knowing about God...we want to KNOW Him and be known by Him...where we can call upon Him and know He is always speaking even if He is not always answering every prayer to our satisfaction or in our timing. We find in our solitude that a Biblical faith is one that applies the scriptures and follows the patriarchs of the Bible as they did and watch and wait for Him to show up on our behalf. What greater lesson about living a life that God blesses could our children extract from any other experience other than our own?
Be encouraged that God lives with His people as "a pillar of cloud to lead them along the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night. The pillar of cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night did not depart from before the people." Exodus 13:21-22 While we do not see that manifestation in the same way physically, He is still illuminating and directing even our darkest times for His light to become an everlasting flame and the light that must never be extinguished must originate in our own hearts so that we never lose our direction or desire for Him.
When I remind myself that life is a journey as well as a tapestry to be taken and woven all at the same time, I feel honored to be chosen for such a role that has taken me through so many twists and turns and uncertainties. I realize that apart from God's calling and His favor to achieve it, I would waste this life seeking but never being fully satisfied. I can now find riddled within the pages of my life's story the hand of God upon my heart that loves me too much to let my life move randomly. While pain is an inevitable part of growth, life lessons learned births desires beyond reason and hope beyond expectation. I do not believe that God merely calls us to have a legacy that is solely parenting our children and therefore we must live out our calling with our children watching and waiting right with us in order for them to develop the kind of faith that too "if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul." Deuteronomy 4:29 In verse 28, the one directly before, God tell us: " There you will worship man-made gods of wood and stone, which cannot see or hear or eat or smell." This is the place where we are in captivity and He desires to release us. While letting go is often not a choice we would make, there is a freedom in having it removed. Rebuilding SOLELY on the foundation that leads us to victorious living is the only place that our soul satisfaction is found. What God adds to that is up to Him, but being driven by our purpose (His purpose) is far more exciting than being driven by our desires.
Who gets what is a common theme in a large family. With God, who gets what is determined by His resources, not our own and I don't know about you, but I would far rather be waiting on Him rather than trusting in myself.